going back here

It has been a really long time since I've blogged. The only reason I came back is that I wanted to check my records on the internet. Then, I came across this old blog I used to have. The laugh and cringe I get when I read my old posts just made me happy. And now I'm wondering if blogging can actually bring me back that feeling of carefree and just pure happiness.
I mean come on, it's pretty weird and funny.

Dan gue sadar bahwa dari kecil emang kayanya kisah percintaan gue gaepernah end dengan baik. entah orangnya suka sama orang lain lah apa lah. ya intinya ga berakhir dengan orang itu suka balik sama gue sih, biasanya.

Jadi kebetulan, hari ini gue ngepost twibbon dari fakultas dimana gue skrg berada. Kebetulan kemarin bgt gue baru aja bikin ig gue public (business account) & MASA YA post gue yg itu di bookmark/save sm org....

this is such an awkward moment kaya "why"
KENAPA
tp gapapa sih cuma gue sedih aja kenapa gabisa ketauan siapa yang ngebookmark wkwkwkwk

tp ya intinya mah saya senang bisa membuat orangtua saya senang



jadi kan gue ditinggalin oleh mantan untuk cewe lain
jahat gasih kalo gue bahagia dia masih bingung belom dapet kuliah?
kasian sih tapi kaya "woi gue udah kesusahan skrg giliran lo yang susah" gitu loh wkwkwk
but honestly, I'm praying for the best (for myself ofc)
dan gue bahagia gue bisa ngelepasin semua unek2 gue dan rasa benci gue ke orang. karena jujur aja ya, itu bikin capek sendiri
dan udah beberapa bulan ini gue belajar banyak mengenai hidup.
Mulai dari kesulitan kecil hingga yang besar
ini semua membuat gue menjadi orang yang lebih 'dewasa' dalam emotional state ya

Kadang emang ga enak jadi orang yang ngalah atau yang besar hati. jatohnya kaya "kurang baik apasih gue" tapi life is unfair, really. Terkadang kalo lo masalahin hal hal kaya gini malah jadinya ribet, just let it go. hating on someone will not make you feel better.
Be the better person, apologise first even if the other party's at fault.
forgive, it will ease your heart.
be thankful for what you have.
and for whatever reason, do not stoop so low :)
always try to be nice to people.
ini gue juga ngingetin diri sendiri kok, because I still do things I forbid (from myself).
but it's okay, a small progress is still a progress

Dedicated to Alyssa

Nama itu familiar bagi beberapa orang, terutama angkatan gue.  dia baru aja meninggal, hari ini. Mungking gue emang gak deket sama dia, but still kehilangan temen itu nyakitin. Dia adalah temen yang baik, maybe lo bertanya-tanya 'emang lo deket sama dia?' at school, maybe no. tapi di KPM iya, gue sebagai anak baru obviously gaada/gapunya temen di KPM (especially pas orientasi) tapi dia ngajak gue ngobrol instead of ngebiarin gue gitu aja. Dia care banget&baik.

Gue gapernah nyangka kalo dia bisa diambil secepet ini, beberapa bulan yang lalu gue masih bercanda sama dia, ngomongin anak KPM SMA yang ganteng, dan main taptap revenge (seharusnya kita ngikutin acara but oh well). Terakhir gue ketemu dia gue nangis, yaitu pas dreamsmart. Gue duduk di paling belakang karena gue hanya sebatas SOTY, gak lama ada seorang perempuan masuk & jalan tapi dibantuin mama&papanya. Jalan pun susah, kebetulan setelah di duduk nama dia mucul di layar. Standing ovation, hampir semua anak angkatan gue yang hadir nangis. Kakak kelas mungkin bertanya-tanya 'ada apaan' dll but we're too caught up in the moment to care about anything else. Dia dikalungin goldstar sama Pak Ukim dan Pak Masribi Ali, personally.

And that was the last time I saw her, now she's gone for good and forever. This shows us that nothing is mortal, she's a hero to us. She fights with her illness, but maybe her battery has run out and now it's time for her to go. Bye Alyssa

Gue punya quote untuk dia

SOUL
by Yuki Miyamoto (a fictional character in "Best Friend Until The End")
after writing this, she died

Soul is very valuable, like a battery that makes people live. But battery can runs out, so as soul. Battery can easily be charged, but soul can't. Soul is a gift from God that makes people stay alive for years. Without soul, people can't live. But there are some people who thinks that they don't need soul, and they wasted it. It hurts me whenever I see people wasting their lives, when actually it have to be used as well as possible. Because of that, I want to keep living until my soul dies.

Here's something for him

What I'm feeling.

Lucky Girl (Lucky Guy)

It’s been so long since I’ve met someone
That makes me feel this way
Makes me smile, and that’s hard to do
I don’t think it’s something you realize you do

You make me feel
Like I’m the only girl
With you in the world

But we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that girl in your life
Better make you her husband
And she better believe she’s a lucky girl

You wanted a song well here’s one for you
Nobody will know except for us two
Don’t ask me about it
Cuz I won’t tell the truth
Just know that there’s someone
Thinking of you

You make me feel
Something I wish wasn’t real at all

But we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that girl in your life
Better make you her husband
And she better believe she’s a lucky girl

Oh so lucky

You were never mine to begin with…

So we can’t be together
Can’t really be friends
We can’t be lovers
And we can’t pretend
Oh that girl in your life
Better make you her husband
And she better believe she’s a lucky guy

To someone who makes my heart did a flip-flop.

kehidupan seorang inez.

Disaat sepupu gue lagi unyu2an sama pacarnya, gue menggalau beli album atau enggak dan kalaupun iya gimana caranya biar mommy ngebolehin. Dengan snacks gue yang sangat gue sayangi cintai dan banggakan. Dengan Internet yang merupakan bagian dari hidup gue, dengan tidur lama dan bermales malesan karena itu hak gue disaat liburan, dengan kpop yang merupakan seluruh hidup gue. Dengan tari saman buat expo ekskul yang gue udah 2 kali gak ikut latihan dan katanya ada gerakan baru yg gue samasekali gatau. Dengan choreo growl yang sedang gue pelajari dengan antusiasnya kareba gue dan tementemen gue mau ngecover growl dan thank god gue udah bisa dance movesnya sedikit sedikitsedikit dan ngerti walaupun belom hafal. Dengan sepatu milih vans Suede classic/old school atau puma suede mid classic.
Karena itupun masih gatau nanti pakenya yg puma atau yang vans, tergantung. AAAAAH ME AND MY LIFE
jadi kemaren gue teriak2 "inez bingung inez bimbang inez labil" berkalikali
Dan daddy tibatiba bilang "jangan pacaran dulu" and im like whaaat? Itu inez bingung karena album growl dad-_- btw yg bikin gue sakit hati adalah irsyad. Dia ngatain gue jomblo. Dasar ya itu anak. ME AND MY LIFE
im sorry brother but apparently your sister has lots of boyfriends in aouth kkoreaand some are havinga world tour right now :)
SEXY FREE AND SINGLE IM READY TOO, BINGO
SEXY FREE AND SINGLE IJE JUNBINEUN WALYO
SEXY FREE AND SINGLE IM READY TO MINGLE~

     My lovely snack (fruity pebbles, dilmah tea, froot loops, hersheys,  aandblueberry juice frm koreaa :D)

 Yang inez galauin aka growl aka repackage version of xoxo

 My blueberry juice! <3 its from koreq that explains why im happy

 This one is my brother who said that im a jomblo

 My boyfriends

  This too

 This too

 This too

Masih banyak tapi karena gue ngupdate pake hp jadi agak susah gimana gitu jadi maybe in the next post okk? :)

I'M IN LOVE

WITH HATS. THEY ARE JUST SO DAMN PUUUURFECT
snapbacks, no shit sherlock.
JUST- IDK.

CONFESSION TIME

Yes, I like someone.
he's tall. I mean TALL
dark eyes, his friend says that he took off his braces, but idk
skinny
cool?
one of his friend is my senior in primary school
if I said more, you guys would probably know who he is so yeah.

lalala

I couldn’t bear to say that I like you
Just being by your side like this was good enough

Shyly, I hide my fluttering heart
And I met you again today
I worry that my heart will be noticed
So I turn around and pretend that I didn't care

I’m telling you that I want you

I’m telling you that I love you

Are you listening to my heart for you?

It hurts just to look at you

Inside all those people in the world
To me, i was only able to see you
I’m standing only looking at you
All day, I keep getting a fever
Don’t know why I’m like this
When you smile at me
When you pass by me

My heart keeps beating
Don’t know, I get happy
I think I’ll know a little, a little
Love, love, I call it love

I love you, I love you, I love you
Even if I say it a thousand times, it’s not enough
It’s me who is only looking at you by your side, a fool

Will you know how I feel someday?

spring comes into my heart

Everytime I see you, I'm happy

I go crazy all day
because I constantly think about you

A guy who catches my eye